Salvation | RedPaper.in
via Write-for-RedPaper / Azure
The popular girl of college,the successful young woman,the fashion icon,most people knew her as these. They never saw the girl that was her true-self. Now as they are seeing her for the first time,they never saw her in so much pain, so vulnerable and she never looked more beautiful than that moment as her emotions stood out on her face as beautiful as the abstractness of the sky during the setting of the dawn.
She sat there with a tear stained face feeling as if her heart is being ripped out of her chest. She embraced the pain and she doesn’t want it to stop. Pain she could bear,numbness was worst.
She didn’t know how long she has been sitting there,she felt as if she was tumbling deep into the hollowed out void with every passing minute.
Everything around her is happening as if nothing’s changed,she felt as if people were expending tremendous energy on things so uncertain, so inhuman, so immaterial, so temporary.
Soothing murmurs falling into her ears fell off like crumbling dust. Somebody’s trying to make her move, but her legs wouldn’t obey, she wrenched herself free from them.
Her heart is thudding fast and slow, all the memories came flooding back,the first ride on bicycle, the sweet peppering of kisses on forehead, the overwhelmed tears shed on her success, guarding her dreams even when they have become sick and twisted, still caring even though she ignored, always being there when she was in despair but she ignored as she found the ultra modern life promising,interesting as the social media status became important to her. She was embarrassed to show ‘him’ to the world. She was embarrassed that he was uneducated,non urbanized.
Did she really didn’t love him, she did,but in the rat race for fame & glory, she took it all for granted.
She repented now for all the times she was embarrassed to show him to her so called fake friends. For all the times she preferred earning money over spending time with him.
Most of all she repented for the time she was not present by his side when he needed her the most, he only wanted to soak up all of her into his eyes.
There was a lot to confess & repent for, but words wouldn’t pass past her lumped throat.
Now as she sat there and let her thoughts to go back to a place where she was just a little girl who just saw beauty in everything, dreamed compassionate dreams and found happiness in the smiles of her beloved ones. She knew she was that girl only because of him, she was a reflection of his goodness, kindness,benign acts. She realized his selfless love and how he believed in her and she wished he somehow knew that she loved him,loves him & will forever love him.
So she stood overwhelmed with all the memories they spent together and she knew, even if he is gone, there are always those memories she could go back to when she needed to be soothed, cared & loved.
So she confessed standing in front of his grave “I LOVE YOU DAD”
“I LOVE YOU”
“I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU”
How she wished she could go back in time and tell him and show him how much she loved him. But time is a luxury which no one can afford. She remembered the glow of happiness on her parent’s face for her success. She felt so proud that she made them happy. She knew at that time that she would do anything just to see that glow of happiness. But instead of fighting for her dreams & that happiness, she chose a path to the materialistic fame. In that race, she always lost a part of herself every time she tried being someone she wasn’t.
Now she knew that the fame,status were all the immaterial things which are nothing more than mirages in desert. She realized that without love, compassion, struggle, pain, ain’t nothing that’s beautiful. There is a beauty in compassion, in one’s passionate dreams, in one’s struggle, in one’s effort to see everyone around happy. If one could realize this and live as per it, thus is the one’s time on earth filled with glory.
She made a promise to herself now that she would make her dad proud. She would become the girl he always believed her to be.
She felt a light breeze on her face and she turned and saw a little girl playing with her dad in a park across the street of churchyard and found the warmth of her father’s presence in the memories she now tucked deep in her heart. A happy tear slipped through her eyes.
She looked up at the dawn of setting sun and opened up herself to the benignity of the world. And she knew as long as there were his memories with her, the daddy’s little girl would wake up to every sunrise with a smile.