By: Breety Majumdar
The eternal dilemma of being a working mom begins in parallel with being a mom..Is it one of the most difficult decisions of life…no but yes its one of the most important one. Its not difficult if you know yourself and your choices. As individual the most important aspect of your life is your ability to decide.
The best part of me is the part that is the mother. The mother in me is so much different than any other me. Its a highly emotional,extremely patient ,very vulnerable and a supremely protective me …whom I have discovered only after my daughter came into this world. But there are other mes also and I don’t feel the need to let go of any of them for being the mother me. There’s me who loves reading, a me who likes to occasionally sleep in late, a me who hates household chores, a me who enjoys watching soaps, and most importantly the me who loves going to work. Yes every me had to make some room to accommodate the mother me but they did it with choice.
The decision of being a working mother was something that I never made because I never ever considered not working. So for me it was never a decision. Like you don’t decide whether we need to go to schools or college I never decided whether I would continue working. I just knew I would and I had to just find ways to make it happen. Luckily unlike many others I got the required support from my family in my en-devour.
Is it a difficult thing to do? Yes it is..but who ever said it was easy being a mom in the first place. Being parent is a paradigm shift in your life. Your life has changed forever and there is no going back. But trust me u never would like to go back. Yes there are moments where you would reminiscence the night outs, the movie and shopping sprees, the weekend trips but then there is so much happening in your life that you won’t really find so much time to dwell on memoirs of the last trip you had. And yes in no time the kids will be grown up enough to enjoy all these finer things of life.
Coming back to the topic its important to understand yourself first. Why do you work? For me its the passion. Ya finance is an important aspect , if I don’t get paid for my job I wont do it. At the same time if I loose my desire to work, finance alone cannot be the deciding factor.
In our society strangely when people view the working woman they see a person working just for money, Seldom you
will come across people who will treat you as a person who works because they like to work. For them its not a compromise to drive their family finance, its a zeal. They always sympathize you, let out statements like oh so sorry you have to leave small kid at home to come to work, you must be feeling bad, Ya sure I miss my kiddo when at work. But I don’t feel bad. Its not a compromise, its a part of life. In 1 -2 years she will start her school and then she will gradually build her world. She will miss her home when she’s at school but she will learn life.
My top priority is my kid. When she needs me I am always there with her. Whenever she is sick, or some days just like that I take leaves. When I am at home I spend my every moment with her, I cook for her, feed her, bathe her …talk to her, play with her,comfort her and make her sleep She knows I am not there always but still I am her biggest source of comfort,biggest source of love. She comes to me for everything and that I feel is most important. The love I give her is much more important then me staying at home and getting frustrated on not being able to work.
I do have small sacrifices, i have not been to a movie for 2 years, I don’t go out with friends, when at home I seldom watch a 3 hour movie, I read only when she is asleep. I wake up early, after going home I don’t laze around, I spend all my energy on her and I love it.. I love every time she calls me mumma, I love every time she learns a new word, every time she calls me to show off some newly acquired skill, every time she smiles, asks me to tell her a story.
At the same time I love my work, the ability to learn something new everyday, the sense of purpose, the sense of achievement when I do something unexpected, something new. I love being able to come to work, the financial independence, I love this part of me just like I love other mes.
Life is a journey where we learn everyday. In this 30 years I guess the most important thing that I learned is that there is no right or wrong and that there’s whole lot of grays.You have to find the things that works best for you. Its important to make the choice yourself because who knows you more than you.